This is where you’ll find my heart. Writing is the way I make sense of myself, the world, and The Eternal.
Here you’ll begin to notice the thread of wholeness that connects all of my work. My writing is rooted in the belief that we are innately whole. There is nothing you need to do to earn it. Every breath connects us back to the Eternal’s Infinite Breath.
I tend to write about both the big and small things of life, often noticing threads of connection across domains. I call this way of seeing spiritual multilingualism.
You’ll find reflections on:
religion & spirituality
Hebrew word studies
chronic illness
embodiment
The Way
Kingdom Circle
You don’t have to read everything or try to keep up. My writing isn’t chronological, but it is connected. If you’re looking for someone with all the answers, you won’t find that here.
However, if you’re looking for a friend who doesn’t mind your questions, is comfortable in liminal spaces, and won’t force you to ignore your illness or sensitivity, you might like it here. I simply ask that you practice empathy, curiosity, and kindness.
Names of God - El Qana - Reflection
Welcome back to our Names of God series. In this series, we are working our way through the names or characteristics of God found in scripture. It is important to remember that each of these names simply give us a partial glimpse into the innumerable characteristics of the Self-Existing I AM. They are not meant to be final; instead they give us insight into how humans have experienced and responded to The Eternal One over time.
We began last week with a brief word study of Qana. This week, we continue with a reflection on El Qana, or Zealous God.
Names of God Series
El Qana: Zealous God
Welcome back to our Names of God series. In this series, we are working our way through the names or characteristics of God found in scripture. It is important to remember that each of these names simply give us a partial glimpse into the innumerable characteristics of the Self-Existing I AM. They are not meant to be final; instead they give us insight into how humans have experienced and responded to The Eternal One over time.
We began last week with a brief word study of Qana. This week, we continue with a reflection on El Qana, or Zealous God.
As I’ve been reflecting on this characteristic of God, I’ve had to really pull back the layers of teaching about The Eternal being characterized as “jealous.” To me, this feels too small for an ever expansive God and reduces The Eternal to human-like emotions. The Eternal is the ultimate Source, the Infinite Breath, the Creator of all things and need not feel jealous of anything.
Instead I am sensing something more profound.
El Qana is single-minded, protective, and focused on what already belongs to the Infinite Breath. The Eternal is not reaching for something that belongs to someone else, but consistently pursuing the care and keeping of the shared life breath.
This is where meditating on El Qana has turned inward for me. I’ve been noticing how often I let other things define me and pull me into their orbit. It isn't always obvious; instead it shows up subtly and is easy to miss. First, I shift my standards from The Eternal’s. Then I hold myself to expectations that don’t quite fit with my expansive view of God. Finally, I find myself listening to voices that sound logical and convincing in the moment. Before I know it, I begin living according to people’s standards, rather than the Creator of all things.
But this Name brings me back.
It is a gentle reminder. The Eternal is not competing for my attention; The Eternal is protecting what already belongs to the Infinite Breath. El Qana, Zealous God, is not about possessiveness or jealousy. Rather, this Name calls me back into alignment, and helps me stay tethered to my innate nature of wholeness.
I am beginning to sense that this is the way of Wholeness; it does not sit passively in the background waiting for me to finally understand. Wholeness is relentlessly and zealously pursuing me, calling me to remember eternal truth. The Eternal is zealous for me to remember and abide in my true nature, where there is no separation.
I’m still sitting with what it means to trust that kind of care and pursuit; to believe that The Eternal is completely committed to my remembrance. I’m learning to believe that I am not at the mercy of the ever-changing opinions around me because there is only One standard that truly matters.
Our invitation this week is simple, and we don’t need to figure everything out. We can just notice how El Qana is persistently showing up for us, calling us back to remembrance. Over the next few days, let’s take note of all the ways The Eternal is helping us remember wholeness.
Then we can ask ourselves gently: Am I willing to become more zealous for The Eternal’s Presence, as The Eternal is zealous for me?
Whatever our answer, a new chance awaits in every breath.
Key Takeaway: El Qana is not jealousy. El Qana is wholeness zealously calling us back to our original design.
Names of God - El Qana - Word Study
Welcome to our Names of God series. In this series, we are working our way through the names or characteristics of God found in scripture. It is important to remember that each of these names simply give us a partial glimpse into the innumerable characteristics of the Self-Existing I AM. They are not meant to be final; instead they give us insight into how humans have experienced and responded to The Eternal One over time.
This week, we are looking at El Qana, or Zealous God. Let’s take a look:
Names of God Series
El Qana: Zealous God
Welcome to our Names of God series. In this series, we are working our way through the names or characteristics of God found in scripture. It is important to remember that each of these names simply give us a partial glimpse into the innumerable characteristics of the Self-Existing I AM. They are not meant to be final; instead they give us insight into how humans have experienced and responded to The Eternal One over time.
This week, we are looking at El Qana, or Zealous God. Let’s take a look:
Hebrew Root + Letters
קַנָאִ: qof-nun-aleph
Qof: beyond awareness, horizon -קַ
Nun: life, continuation, unfolding-נָ
Aleph: strength, breath, initiating presence-אִ
A few things to notice…
These letters point to the idea that The Eternal exists with and beyond our awareness, and is actively unfolding/continuing life.
There is unseen activity here. Life is initiated, sustained, and protected by The Eternal One, even when we are unaware of it.
The Eternal is not reaching for what doesn’t belong or come from Him.
The Eternal is steadily and protectively caring for her children.
This all happens whether we are aware or not.
In Scripture, El Qana first shows up in the Ten Words (Commandments) found in Exodus 20:5
“You are not to bow down and serve any image, for I, the Eternal your God, am a (zealous) God. As for those who are not loyal to Me, their children will endure the consequences of their sins for three or four generations.” -The VOICE (modified)
And again in Deuteronomy 6:15
“The Eternal your God is living right among you, and He’s a (zealous) God. He would become furious if you were unfaithful to Him—He’d wipe you off the face of the earth!” The VOICE (modified)
Notice that both of these (and most versions) use the word jealous where I inserted the word zealous. Though the English words zealous and jealous come from the same Greek root, they do not have the same meaning. For centuries “jealous” has had a negative connotation associated with infidelity and envy. Zealous, on the other hand, implies protective commitment and pursuit of that which you love.
A simple way to feel through this on your own:
El Qana is the Infinite, initiating Presence who continues unfolding life beyond our awareness and is fiercely committed to protecting His children.
A question to ponder:
Am I as zealous and protective of my relationship with the Eternal as the Eternal is about me?